Coconuts and Lily Evans
by Moonstone
Summary: James Potter hates cocnuts:with passion. He can't stand them. They're disgusting. That is unless Lily's wearing Coconut Essence Lip balm oneshot


There are many things a person can like and dislike. A person can like coffee and dislike tea. A person can like chocolate and dislike marshmallows. There are many things a person can like and dislike.

But to hate something; that's completely different. Hate is a much stronger emotion and very few people use it in the right context. Everybody says they hate this and they hate that, when in fact it's just a great disliking, not hate. Very few people use 'hate' in the right context.

One such person is James Potter. He knew when to use 'hate'. He knew very well. Ever since he was about three when his mother smacked him for saying he hated the way she made him hang around with the weird muggle neighbour girl who thought that aliens existed.

He knew that when using the word 'hate', he had to mean it.

He used it in connection to coconut. He hated coconut. He didn't dislike it. He didn't despise it. He hated it; with passion. He hated its flakiness when it was used in exotic cooking. The food looked like it had been snowed on, with the most disgusting snow.

He hated the sickly sweet smell it exuberated and even more that false, extremely sugary, tropical and watery taste it left in his mouth the first time.

He hated the hair shells coconuts had. They looked like African tribe's men's heads. It was creepy.

He just hated coconuts.

His friends teased him about it and would always try and trick him into somehow consuming it, Sirius being the most disgustingly inventive one.

'Disgustingly' being the key word. He'd once taken a liking last year, to showering James with grated coconut every morning before poor unsuspecting James woke up, laughing like a mad man whenever James brushed a bit off of his face and muttered something about, disgusting Lilys and a pretty coconut.

Sirius was known to manipulate everything, so James wasn't entirely sure if he had actually ever said that, even if Remus backed Sirius up.

Every morning James would wake up and screech at Sirius for about half an hour, even if he knew Sirius was not listening and then he would spend two hours minimum getting those disgusting flaky bits that resembled evil itself and that wretched overly sweet smell.

After he came out smelling freshly of the 'Rain on Freshly Mowed Grass' soap that he used, which made every single girl in Hogwarts turn into resembling swooning bloodhounds, he'd mutter another Padfoot-Sirius-repellent spell on his bed, in hope that this time it would work.

It never did.

This morning he woke up unusually early due to that disgusting smell again.

"Padfoot," he mumbled again as he hoisted himself off the bed, "I'm going to kill you."

He grabbed his glasses and began scanning the room for any signs of the dreaded fruit but saw none. Snarling very imaginative death threats to himself he trudged out of his room, trying not to inhale through his nose.

He was still muttering to himself when he closed his door and turned around to face the Heads Common Room that he now shared with Lily Evans, the girl of many of his dreams, erotic and almost every other dream genre.

As he surveyed their Common Room, the said girl of his dreams walked out of her room, wearing nothing but an oversized T-shirt, revealing her very luscious legs.

"James!" she squeaked when she saw him and turned as red as her hair. They never woke at the same time in the morning. She was always up first and out of the room by the time he woke up, giving both of them enough time to use the facilities.

He gulped slightly as he tried not to look her over and grinned weakly.

"Morning Lily," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck, still looking at her through his unruly hair as he gazed at the floor.

Her red hair, though slightly tousled due to just having woken up still shone out radiantly and he still wanted to touch and run his hands through it.

Her ivory complexion glowed slightly as it always did and accentuated the freckles that were sprinkled along her nose.

Her lips were as pink and as full as they had always been and as she stood there, with them slightly parted in the most enticing way James felt that familiar sensation as if the world was spinning and he had to hold onto something (preferably her), or kiss her. Up until now it had been holding onto something, except that time he was dared to fly up to her in the Stands after the Quidditch game in the sixth year and snog her right there and then.

Sirius had thought that that very romantic gesture would have earned James a sure green light for some more snogging in a broom closet and then repeat for a long period of time when she agreed finally to him constant plea to go out with him.

Instead all he received was a smack across the face and a hex that sent him flying across the pitch and into a bludger.

She apologised for the bludger of course, but very stiffly.

The last time he had kissed her was during February in the current year, when they had both missed the trick step and had fallen down three flights of stairs. They both ended up in a hysterically laughing heap, with their faces inches from each other. They both were breathing hard from the fall and the laughter and her cheeks were tinged pink as she stared deep into his eyes, not looking away.

It had just been an impulse to destroy that annoying amount of inches between their faces and to his pleasurable surprise it had seemed like she had had the same impulse, as she responded to him planting his lips on hers, immediately.

When they pulled away, they both silently decided to act maturely and helped each other up before climbing the staircase.

But as James had described wildly to Sirius and Remus:

"I swear dudes! Her eyes were sparkling like hell when we pulled away! I never saw her like that. She looked like a bonfire!"

That was the first time James had seen Lily look at him in that way. And even though they had pretended like it had never happened he never forgot.

But what caught him most, and what had always caught him most were her eyes. Those bright deep pools of deep and glittering green shone out like emeralds against her wonderfully God-sculpted face. They made the world go spinning, shaking and all kinds of other movements as well as stay shatteringly still, all at the same time. All she had to do was look at him and catch his eye and the whole weird earth thing would start.

"Um…morning," she replied stuttering, now realising that he was wearing only a pair of very attractive boxers.

She mentally slapped herself for using an adjective and tried not to look at his fantastically toned and muscular torso.

James looked at her for a few seconds, unaware that he was still avoiding the scent of that horrific fruit.

"James?" Lily called, "why are you holding your mouth open and acting like a goldfish?"

He snapped his head towards her and realised that he did in fact resemble that of a goldfish and abruptly shut his mouth, through regretted it the second his new Sirius-gifted coconut scent entered his nose.

He immediately cringed and reverted to his old way of respiration.

"Coconut," he said in a blocked voice, "Sirius put coconut on me again. I hate the smell. I just hate coconut."

Lily nodded slowly in comprehension of his absurd actions.

"Yeah," she said slowly, smiling, "that was just a perfect way to begin your morning James. Coconut."

She smiled at the new piece of information she had acquired from him as silence fell over the Common Room.

Finally James broke it.

"Um…" James started nervously, pretending to look at the floor embarrassedly while he shamelessly gazed at her legs, "…did you want to use the bathroom?"

He saw her impressive curvaceous right leg shift nervously.

"Um…well…yeah," she stumbled, "but you can go first."

He looked up at her porcelain face, trying not to get dizzy by looking at her eyes. If this was last year, or even five or six months ago, Lily would have demanded that she got to use the bathroom first. But now as he looked at her through his disgusting coconut haze she seemed to want to be just as polite as he was.

He'd come back this year different. He wasn't an immature cocky prat. His ego had deflated while his sense of responsibility had inflated. But what was most noticeable was the fact that he didn't chase after Lily like a lost puppy. He did that only in his dreams.

But Lily, she hadn't changed one bit. She was still her headstrong righteous and perfect fiery self. Or so he thought.

She had been acting weirdly in the past month or so, a few months in after they had decided to be good friends. It worried him a little the way she sometimes got all jumpy around him or stuttered. It was like she was scared of him or something.

He had tried to be as less as menacing as he possibly could due to this, even though he never thought himself menacing. But this only made her more strange. Ever gesture of politeness made her blush or stutter. But she always did smile at him and that's what made him happy. That warm, sweet yet firm Lily smile of hers. Even if she left muttering incoherent sayings under her breath.

But it still worried him sometimes. Remus had repeated his theory that she had fallen for him quite a few times. Had it been in fourth year till the sixth year, he would have believed. Now however he knew that his life long fantasy of receiving back the love he held for Lily was unfathomable.

There was something up with her. Either she was going through some kind of phase or it was something he had done that had made her petrified of him.

Whenever they were working in the Common Room together and he leaned over to either copy her work or borrow some ink, he'd feel her stiffen slightly and he'd see a blush creeping onto her face.

Even her strict reprimands weren't as strict anymore.

From things like: "JAMES POTTER IF YOU EVER TRY AND COPY MY WORK AGAIN I SWEAR TO MERLIN AND GODRIC GRYFFINDOR THAT YOU'LL BE COPYING ACTIONS FROM A DOCTOR'S LAB ON HOW TO ATTACH YOUR BALLS BACK ON!"

Even though it was extremely funny from a spectator's view, it was terrifying from his side.

But then her threats went to: James Potter! Stop copying at once or else I'll make sure copying someone's backside is the last thing you'll do."

Thinking back now James realised that that threat wasn't even physically possible. What were you supposed to copy from a person's backside anyway? And that comment was her most threatening.

He remembered that time when they were both hanging out by the lake because the Common Room was under repair from the mayhem Sirius had caused before he left with Remus for Christmas.

It gotten chilly and James had put his cloak around her, pausing to whisper how pretty she looked beside the lake.

It had been another stupid impulse of his; some of those still hadn't been put under control ever since his fourth year infatuation with her. He hadn't been able to stop himself.

He expected a "Bugger off Potter!" or a "Sod off James!" or at least a roll of the eyes. But instead he saw her gulp and wrap the coat around her tighter, making no notion for him to move away.

He would've have stayed. He was dying to stay in that proximity and just continue whispering and moving closer and closer to her until his lips touched her skin. But instead he moved away. Something was wrong with Lily and he didn't want to take advantage of the situation. He knew he'd regret it later.

His second hypothesis for her actions was that maybe he had actually gotten so freakily scary by tailing her all the time and reaching a point of stalking her that she snapped. Even though this year he had grown up and wasn't as immature, he decided to stop acting like he cared for her completely, hoping that maybe she'd come out of that insane faze she was going through.

No such luck.

Sometimes he thought he'd worsened it.

Of course she wasn't completely off it. She was Lily after all. Lily Evans could never lose her grip on reality. Quite a lot of the time she was her normal, headstrong, kind, firm, strict yet lenient self. Most of the time she did act normally around him. More friendly than before, but still distanced.

But those times when it seemed like she'd actually screwed her head on the wrong way were always there. And they confused the hell out of him.

"No! It's ok!" he protested, "You can go first."

"Don't worry…" she answered self-consciously, now trying to look only at his face and stop that weird darting thing her eyes were doing to his chest.

"Seriously, you can…"

"It's alright if you want to…"

"I'll just wait…"

"Don't be silly James…"

"I mean it Lily, I…"

They continued their very discomfited ramblings and flustered politeness when finally James stopped it all.

"You go ok?" he stated finally.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" Lily asked, but began edging forwards to the bathroom door.

"Don't worry," he finished. Lily smiled meekly and then nodded, before scuttling towards the bathroom door, pausing to give James a wobbly smile and side step the rest of the way.

He watched her until the door was closed, and then stared at the wooden obstruction to the girl of his dreams.

_She's got even greater legs than I imagined._

Sighing and then immediately grunting as the smell entered his nose again, he went and plonked himself down on the couch and began thinking up ways to torture Sirius.

ooO0Ooo

After a serious scrub and wash James finally entered the Great Hall smelling of his usual 'Rain on Freshly Mowed Grass' soap and smiled kindly at the fifth year who gasped heavily as he walked by. Flirtatious grins were only for sixth year and up, and Lily of course.

He didn't know why but Lily was always categorized as a completely different girl from all the girl's in Hogwarts to him. Even though she was in the seventh year he could never quite string those two in a sentence like he would with any other seventh year. She was too diversely different to be just any ordinary 17-year-old Hogwarts student. She was Lily Evans.

"Hey!" Sirius's voice sounded loudly as James sauntered up to the Gryffindor table, "How's my little coconutty friend?"

"Shut it Padfoot!" James grumbled, "I'll get you for that one."

"Whooohoohoo!" Sirius muttered in mock fear, "I'm terrified really! I can't breathe now that my fear is choking up my alimentary canal."

The three marauders raised their eyebrows.

"Sirius," Remus called sounding slightly disappointed, "the alimentary canal is our digestive system."

James and Peter snickered.

Sirius looked dumbfounded for a minute and then laughed.

"Yeah whatever Remus," he replied cockily, tossing a grape into his mouth, "I think I'd know if I was talking my digestive system instead of my windpipe."

Remus rolled his eyes.

"I'm serious," Remus stated. Sirius shook his head.

"No I'm Sirius!" he grinned.

Remus let out an exasperated sigh.

"You're hopeless Padfoot."

"Glad to be of service!"

They sat in silence for a few minutes, eating their breakfast until Sirius broke it.

"James you've got a bit of coconut on your fringe!" he announced.

"If you can call it a fringe," Remus muttered, but was unheard due to James very loud and girly shrieks of terror as he jumped up and began rapidly scratching and rubbing his head to get rid of that one little bit of coconut.

The three marauders watched him in amusement along with many other spectators, including Lily who had just stood up and was about to leave the Great Hall, but stopped to watch her fellow Head resemble a mental chicken.

"Get it off!" James shrieked, "It's going to destroy my perfect hair! Get it off!"

"James it's gone," Remus informed him carelessly, but James didn't hear as he continued to yell bloody murder.

"Prongs it's off!" Peter tried again.

"This is hilarious," Sirius whispered as he grinned at the brunette who had smiled his way. His eye caught Lily watching his best mate in much amusement and a wicked idea sprung.

He leapt up and ran up to James.

"There it James!" he exclaimed excitedly, "on the left!"

"WHERE WHERE?" James begged now rummaging through the hair on the left side of his head, "TELL ME WHERE!"

"Wait now it's on the right!" Sirius announced, "Go on you can get it!"

James turned to the right side and continued his act of insane removal of coconut.

"Come on! Come on!" Sirius urged.

James continued for a while but then suddenly stopped.

"Remus?" he called weakly.

"Hmm?"

"It's not there is it?"

"No James, it's not!"

"Padfoot was just taking the piss wasn't he?"

"Yes James, that he was."

"I look like a right prat don't I?"

"Yes James, that you do."

"Not to mention Evans has been watching the entire time," Sirius stated offhandedly, looking at his fingernails.

James gulped and looked past Sirius to see his redheaded beauty staring at him, a very amused look on her face, along with many others.

"I'm going to castrate you with my quill Padfoot," he muttered under his breath as he sat down and returned to his breakfast with as much dignity as he could muster, a blush creeping to his face.

ooO0Ooo

"Coconuts! Coconuts! Coconuts!"

"Black stopping whispering to Potter!"

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Coconuts! Coconuts! Coconuts!"

"Black I'm warning you!"

Sirius shrugged.

"Coconuts! Coconuts! Coconuts!"

"BLACK! DETENTION! MY OFFICE TONIGHT!"

Sirius grinned.

"Well Minnie if you insist!" he remarked cheekily, "I won't deny your lust for me."

"That'll be a double detention! NOW SHUT IT!"

Sirius merely shrugged and made a face when McGonagall turned around.

"Coconuts! Coconuts! Cocon…"

"Sirius shut it!" Remus hissed angrily, "Leave James alone."

"Yeah," Peter piped up, "can't you see that Prongs is currently doing something very important right now?"

Remus perked up at that comment.

James Potter doing something important in Transfiguration?

"Really?" Remus turned to Peter, "what is it Wormtail?"

"Staring at Evans's arse?" Sirius asked, imitating Remus's interested voice but with an added bat of his eyelashes.

Peter turned to James and then shook his head.

"Nah," he answered, sounding bored, "her chair's got a full back."

"Poor Prongs," Sirius commented, sounding very concerned.

"I think he's looking at her hair," Peter stated thoughtfully.

"Her hair?" Remus questioned, cocking his head to get a better look at James.

"Why is he looking at it like that?" Sirius asked now doing the same as Remus, but with a lopsided frown, "It's not that shiny!"

Sure enough James was looking at the back of Lily's head and scrutinizing it, as if it held a small object that he desperately wanted to see but couldn't because of some bright light. It looked very comical, seeing as he was on the edge of his chair and looked constipated.

ooO0Ooo

"I wish I had been there Lily!" Lily's friend Jess, laughed as she tossed her black curls over her shoulder. Lily groaned slightly and unaware that James was sitting just behind her, listening acutely, she continued.

"It wasn't that funny Jess!" Lily protested, "I barely held up! I mean I think I could have fainted."

Her brunette friend laughed again.

"Was he that fit?" she remarked, making Lily blush, "wish I had been there."

"Well apart form that," Lily snapped light-heartedly, "I mean you know how I've been lately. That was just the topping."

She gave her giggling friend a weak smile.

"I asked you a question Lily," Jess pressed, "was he fit?"

Lily banged her head on the table, receiving a curious glance from Professor McGonagall.

"Well?" Jess grinned.

"Fine," Lily sighed, "Yes he was."

Jess perked up.

"How fit?"

"Jess!" Lily protested, only receiving a very hard glare. She sighed again.

"Very fit ok?" she turned slightly pink.

"With abs and stuff then?" Jess carried on, not caring that Lily was ready to hurl something.

Lily growled.

"He had abs, biceps, triceps everything ok?" she hissed, "He was just bloody perfect!"

Jess grinned.

"Well lucky you," she said, waggling her eyebrows.

Lily groaned, unaware that James was grinning proudly.

"Well at least you weren't wearing that awful red flannel nighty," Jess continued, snickering, "or that lacy lingerie one that I got you last Christmas."

Lily gasped and smacked her friend's arm, oblivious to the fact that James's eyebrows had just shot up.

Lily in lingerie…if he wasn't in class he knew he'd be drooling openly.

"Shut it!" Lily commanded.

"Then what were you wearing?" Jess continued, "your teddy bear pyjamas?"

Lily shook her head.

"I was wearing that oversized T-shirt that I usually wear," she said, a deeper blush creeping, "and nothing else. So he could see my legs completely."

Jess grinned.

"You had shaved right?"

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Of course!"

"Well then lucky him," Jess grinned, wiggling her eyebrows.

"He saw all of my legs completely!"

Jess shrugged while just a row back James grinned slightly in memory

"So did you guys like say anything or just stare at the various parts of bare anatomy that were in view?" Jess grinned as LIly rolled her eyes, tucking a strand of her red hair behind her ear.

"Of course we talked," she grumbled, "we negotiated who would use the bathroom."

"Aah..."

"And he mentioned something about Sirius and coconut," Lily continued, "I didn't get it because he sounded a bit like a duck."

Jess snorted.

James frowned.

ooO0Ooo

"Sirius stop looking like that!" Remus commanded, "you look like a baboon in serious need of a plastic surgeon."

"But Moony," Peter piped in squeakily, "you always said that you were against plastic surgery."

Remus rolled his eyes.

"Well in Sirius's case I'm very much for it," he drawled, "it'll save not only you and me but also a very poor plastic surgeon."

"Shut it!" Sirius ordered grumpily, refusing to change the strange look on his face as he watched his best friend.

After a few seconds of watching James burn a hole in Lily's head they got bored.

"Maybe I should look!" Sirius piped up.

"No Sirius don't!" Remus warned

"But I wanna see!"

"Padfoot listen to Remus," Peter interjected before turning away.

"NO!" Sirius answered stubbornly, "I want to see."

Remus and Peter shrugged and watched as Sirius leaned over his chair, behind James to peer at Lily's hair.

"He's going to fall isn't he?" Peter asked. Remus nodded.

"That he is Wormtail," he sighed and resumed to taking down the notes, "that he is."

They both resumed their work, ignoring Sirius as he leaned further and further behind and around James, peering at Lily's hair.

After a few more minutes of stretching, he grinned. He could now see perfectly from James's angle. He took a quick look at James and then turned back to the redhead, not realising that the corner of his chair leg was balancing on probably the width of an atom.

"It's not that shi-AAAA!"

A thud sounded through the classroom and Professor McGonagall whipped around, her lips tight.

"Black!" she hissed stepping towards them, her wand raised, making the four marauders cower, including Sirius, who was already on the floor.

"What do you think you're doing?" she commanded. Sirius shrugged and gave her a desperate grin.

"Trying to look at Evans's hair?" he said in a high-pitched voice. Lily snapped her head around, looking incredulous.

"Why were you staring at her hair?" James asked, looking confused as well as slightly annoyed that his focus was disrupted.

"Mr.Potter…"

"Yeah why were you staring at my hair?" Lily repeated.

"Miss Evans…"

Remus snorted and turned to Peter.

"This is a miracle," he whispered, "Lily's not objecting to Prongs taking up for her."

Peter grinned and fluttered his eyes.

"Love is in the air."

Remus snorted.

"What's so funny?" Lily asked turning to Remus, a redness on her cheeks.

Remus shrugged.

"You didn't get angry when James stood up for you," Peter interjected.

"All of you, including Pettigrew…"

Lily reddened even more.

"Shut up!"

"Miss Evans, I expected better from…"

"Why were you looking at my hair Black?" Lily rounded on Sirius.

He shrugged.

"You should be asking Prongs that," Sirius sneered, making James go red.

"I'm warning all of you…"  
Lily went redder if possible but ignored James, surprising him for not reprimanding him.

"Is there something in my hair Jess?" she asked, turning to her best friend, "Can you see it?"

Jess scoffed.

"Lily don't be such a daftie!" she joked, "There's nothing. Potter's just staring because he's in love with you and Black's just staring because he's a moron."

Lily went redder than James did and Sirius stuck out his tongue.

"Harvey please…"

"Prongs what's that nagging noise?" Sirius asked, grinning as he finally heard McGonagall, turned round and saw her turning to a strange shade of puce.

Everyone silenced and held their breath.

"What sound?" James asked, frowning. Everyone in the entire class took a deep breath.

Sirius grinned as his extremely clueless friend waded deeper and deeper into the dangerous waters of McGonagall whose face had gone deathly white.

"That sound," he repeated.

James frowned, not noticing Lily waving her had discreetly at him and shaking her head.

"Sirius I seriously don't know what you're talking about so just…"

"THAT'S IT!" McGonagall yelled, finally snapping, "DETENTION! THE LOT OF YOU! EVANS, HARVEY, PETTIGREW, LUPIN, DETENTION FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKENDS!" Lily, Jess, Peter and Remus all gulped and immediately bent over their work, while James stared wide-eyed at her and Sirius just stood and grinned.

"POTTER, DETENTION EVERY NIGHT FOR A MONTH! BLACK, DENTENTION EVERY NIGHT FOR TWO MONTHS! NOW SIT DOWN!"

James's and Sirius's mouths dropped open.

"What?" they both yelped in protest as McGonagall turned back to the class.

"Minnie you can't do that!" Sirius protested, "it's not fair and…"  
He was reduced to a squeaking little boy when McGonagall whipped around, wand in hand and marched up to him.

"That detention is now doubled Black!" she hissed, "don't push it!"

Sirius gulped and nodded before sitting down and bent over his work.

After a few minutes the class was returned to normal, and the lesson continued.

"Pads what's wrong with you?" James asked after a few minutes, "Why were you staring at her hair?"

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"She's all yours mate," he said lazily, "don't worry. I was just wondering why you were bloody burning a hole through her head."

James narrowed his eyes.

"I was listening to what she and Jess were talking about," he stated.

Sirius snorted.

"Eavesdropping," he tutted, "and I thought you were done with stalking."

James kicked him.

"I'm not stalking," he protested, "She said I was fit!"

Sirius shook his head and turned to Remus with a look of great concerned disappointment claiming his features.

"He's lost it," he said sadly, "He's hearing things now."

James punched him.

"It's true," he protested angrily, "she said I was fit."

"Black and Potter! That's double of each of your respective detentions! NOW BE QUIET!"

ooO0Ooo

"Look," Remus reasoned as the four marauders walked out of Transfiguration. James and Sirius had been arguing for the last fifteen minutes of the lesson about whether or not James had heard Lily call him fit. Remus was getting quite sick of it.

"Why don't both of you just give it up?"

Sirius snorted.

"I've got nothing to give up here," he grinned at a blonde who sauntered by, "We all know Evans would never say that. She thinks David Griffinson is fitter than Prongs, and Griffinson weighs about 95 odd kilograms!"

James punched him lightly in the arm before turning to Remus.

"You believe me don't you Moony?" he begged. Sirius snorted again.

"You're asking Remus?" he asked incredousley, "The almighty smart, brainy, know it all? He who knows more about sex than I do even when he doesn't even get out?" he rolled his eyes, "Prongs I thought you were smarter than this!"

James and Remus raised their eyebrows. Peter tripped over someone's foot.

"I'll just take that as a compliment Sirius," Remus murmured slightly uncomfortably.

"Well what do you think then Moony?" Sirius asked forcefully.

"I've told you before," Remus sighed as they turned the corner and walked to the Great Hall.

"What that stupid theory that Evans actually fancies him?" Sirius scoffed.

Remus scowled.

"I think it's plausible!" he declared.

"So do I!" Peter squeaked, silencing the other three for a second. Remus and James looked at him questioningly while Sirius glared.

"Thank you Peter!" Remus finally announced, "Someone knows what I'm talking about!"

"What does plausible mean?" Peter asked. Sirius and James snorted as Remus sighed.

"Moony," Sirius continued ignoring as he stepped on Peter's toes when he turned again, "not even James agrees with that."

"It's a bit too far fetched Moony," James said, siding with Sirius.

Sirius grinned.

"See!" he declared triumphantly, "Coconut boy here agrees with me!'

He received another punch, but still continued grinning as he watched James stomp off to the library.

"Pity he didn't check his ceiling," Sirius grinned evilly.

"Oh dear!"

"I think that big net of lovely coconut might just spill at around 8:30pm when he goes into his room to change out of his Quidditch robes."

"You're evil," Peter announced.

"I owe him!" Sirius protested, "he told Bianca that I drew chest hair on myself. Liar!"

Remus raised an eyebrow.

"You _did_ draw chest hair on yourself," he interjected.

Sirius shrugged.

"She was buying it though."

ooO0Ooo

James entered the library muttering something about revenge, Sirius, scissors, balls, torture and research. Ignoring the strange looks form the Librarian, Madame Pince, he walked over to the back of the library to begin his work and research, whatever it was. He was about to grab a seat next to the window when he saw a flash of red hair swing by, through a cavity in the shelf between two books.

Lily.

He could recognise that hair anywhere. It was the deepest shade of red hair he'd ever seen and it had a signature bounce and shine…that only he could see.

He stared at the space for a while until he saw her move somewhat abruptly backwards so he could see her face. She looked slightly tired and worn out though her green eyes still sparkled with light.

He forced himself to look away and tried to continue on with his research.

"You are seriously stupid!" he heard a voice hiss, "Why are you being so stubborn?"

"I'm not!" he heard a persistent and angry reply that was obviously Lily, "I'm not being stubborn. What do you expect me to do Jess?"

James bit his lip. What was he supposed to do? It was known worldwide that a male should never ever listen in on a female conversation. It was an unwritten universal law. But here he was, unable to move unless he wanted to be suspected of listening and unable to not move unless he was actually going to listen.

"Why don't you just tell him how you feel?" he heard Jess hiss again.

He immediately sat up, resulting in banging his foot against the table. Cursing silently he crept towards the bookshelf and leaned his back on it so he could peer through the cavity sideways. The universal law automatically disappeared when it came to eavesdropping on Lily's love life problems.

"I can't tell him how I feel!" Lily protested, "That's impossible!"

James scowled. Who was this 'him'? What did she feel for him? He didn't think he'd like this 'him' very much once he found out who it was.

"Lily what is your problem?" Jess's voice grew slightly louder, "are you completely out of your mind? Everyone in the whole school knows he's in love with you. We all know he's been in love with you since fourth year."

James gulped. There was another guy who'd fancied her as long as he had?

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Well he's over me now!"

"How do you know?" Jess asked.

"Well um…maybe it's due to the fact that he's totally stopped ever inkling that shows he even gives a toss about me," Lily answered sarcastically, "or is it the fact that he must think I'm a jumping crazy freak who's got more ants in her pants than a South African Ant colony does."

Jess and James raised their eyebrows simultaneously. Where did she get those weird metaphors?

"Look," Jess continued, "stop with the weird comparisons and just admit it! You're scared."

Lily scoffed.

"Of course I'm scared! I'm scared of what he's going to do if I tell him. Laugh? Shun me in the meanest way? Oh I'll kill myself if he becomes pitying!"

Jess narrowed her eyes.

"That's like 0.0000000005 of why you're scared," she retorted, "you're scared of admitting that after all these years of shunning him and professing to god knows everyone that you would never ever fall for him, that you have. You're scared. And you're pride's scared."

A silence rang out and James could see Lily struggling to answer for a second.

James scowled through the silence. She'd vowed her imense dislike to another admirer too? Somehow he felt very affronted, as if a prize had been taken away from him.

"Oh shut it Jess, with your stupid psychological crap!" Lily snapped, "that's all rubbish and you know it!"

Jess snorted.

"You know it's not Lily!" she answered calmly. James saw a pink tinge appear on Lily's cheeks and felt his heart melt. He loved it when she blushed.

"Whatever," she muttered, "well what am I to say if I do tell him?"

Jess gave a small smile of triumph.

"The truth."

Lily snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Oh yeah!" she gushed sarcastically, "Fantastic. The truth!"

Jess raised her eyebrow.

"And why not?"

Lily clapped her hands together and put on a fake excited face.

"Oh hello James!" she said in a casual sarcastic voice, "How are you? By the way, just wanted to let you know that I like you…no…that I've fallen in love with you this year for some reason unbeknownst to anyone. I just had to tell you even though you're completely over me and probably think I'm a jumping nervous freaking ninny!"

Jess giggled as Lily rounded on her. James tried to pick his jaw up from the floor.

"Or should I just get down on my knees and do what he used to do and beg and beg and beg and beg until he cracks, like I obviously have. Then what? We'll be two completely insane nutty people who only got together because they drove each other up the wall?"

Jess rolled her eyes and opened her mouth but James heard nothing. He'd stopped processing properly the minute he'd heard his name and had only been able to understand what Lily had said through sheer luck.

She liked him!

_NO! She's in love with me._

A dreamy look came across his face and he skipped over to his table. It took him a few minutes of bliss removing pain to realise that he'd tripped on himself and had landed face first on to the floor, with an ink bottle smashed and ink splattered all over his robes.

Cursing as he saw the two figures through the cavity tense up he scrambled up to his feet and grabbed as many belongings as he could before bolting out of the library.

ooO0Ooo

"Ok team! You can go in now!" James called when the Quidditch practice was up. The hour had snailed its way past, causing James to become increasingly impatient and desperate to get back to the Head's Common Room.

As the team trudged back Sirius skipped his way up to him.

"Oi Prongs!" he called, "what's up with you mate?"

James shrugged and continued he's speedy walk back to the castle.

"What's with the power walking?" Sirius joked, "Want to make your arse look good for Evans or something?"

James jumped slightly at the mention of Lily Evans, causing Sirius to raise his eyebrow.

"Prongs…" he continued carefully, "what's happened? And what's going to happen? You've been acting weird all practice. At the beginning you were all dreamy and happy and then you just changed to Minnie!"

James shook his head and began jogging to the castle.

"What's with Prongs?" Peter asked as he and Remus ran up to Sirius and tried to catch up with their fellow marauder.

Sirius shrugged as he gave up.

"Mental that one," he mumbled.

"For some reason I've got a strange warm feeling tonight," he mused as they slowly walked back.

"Remus," Sirius snorted, "it's not even your time of the month."

Remus rolled his eyes.

"I think Prongs found something out about Lily," he stated, "I think he might just agree with my theory."

"What that Lily fancies him?"

Remus nodded.

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"completely mental. Evans has really cracked him. At least he's got my coconut present tonight. It'll be going off just as he gets there."

Peter squeaked.

"You're evil!"

Sirius merely grinned, "you said that."

Remus raised his eyebrow.

"You're completely and utterly nutters!" he commented, "Bereft of reason!"

Remus rolled his eyes.

"What's bereft?" Peter squeaked as they reached the hall, "is it a type of food."

Sirius and Remus looked at each other and shared a look.

"The Kitchens are just a few minutes away Peter."

ooO0Ooo

James sprinted up the stairs at the speed of light, jumping four steps at a time, pausing only once when a member of the 'James Potter Fan Club' cornered him with an awful flashing smile of yellow and pink braces.

James merely pushed her away gently and took off again, muttering incoherently.

He ran head first into the Common Room as fast as he could, after he shouted the password to the portrait from a mile off.

He blasted into the Common Room and looked around. It was empty. He double-checked; just in case she was sitting in a corner reading something or had fallen asleep somewhere.

He sighed dejectedly. She was probably at dinner or in bed. It was 8:30pm already and she'd either be heading up to go to bed or be finishing off dinner.

He groaned slightly in annoyance and trudged to his room to get changed and then get a quick bite.

Maybe he could talk to Lily on the way up.

He entered his room and growled. That disgusting sickly sweet smell of that dreaded tropical fruit still lingered in his room from the morning. He felt the urge to throw something but instead settled to going back to his original state of imitating a goldfish.

As he walked into his room he began going over his non-existent plans on how to get Sirius back for the coconut prank he had played on him earlier that morning.

Though all he could come up with were four words: Coconut, Sirius, Dead and Lily. The rest of it just didn't manage to string up into anything useful. His head was too full of the conversation he had overheard.

He couldn't understand how he'd made it up to know without bursting and telling someone. He had begged for the weather to take an unexpected turn and rain like there was no tomorrow so he could call off practice. It still amazed him how he'd managed to sit through and entire practice and order the team about without just zipping off on his broom to her window and read some poetry that would hopefully just pop into his mind and declare his love for her.

He sighed as he pulled off his Quidditch robes and slipped into his Hogwarts clothing. Thinking back to her strange behaviour that year he realised it was obvious, in a way. But it was Lily Evans. After 3 years of solid pursuing and cold rejections what was to be expected but complete dejection of the idea that she had fallen for him. He still found it hard to believe.

But he did. It all made sense. Her jumpy attitude, the look in her eyes when she saw him, her strange shyness around him sometimes. It all made sense.

But somehow no matter how much sense it made, every time he thought of it still made him feel light.

He smiled as he thought of how he could now look into her eyes whenever he wanted to without receiving a glare or a scared look. He could touch her face and feel her soft skin against his without her thinking that he was either a rapist or seriously demented. He could kiss her and wouldn't have to pretend like it had never happened, and he could do it over and over again.

He sighed contentedly again as he thought about what was held in store for him when suddenly he heard a creak from above. Instinctively he looked up and his mouth opened wide to form the shape of an 'o'.

Up above him, hanging by what looked like thin threads was a huge net filled with coconut shavings.

_That's where the sodding smell was coming from._

He gulped slightly as one of the strings that held the net, snapped, sending a few shavings fluttering down like evil curses. Rooted to the spot with utmost disgusted fear he watched as the second string broke, then the third and then the fourth.

It all happened in slow motion. The net and coconut began cascading down as he instinctively took three swift steps away.

After a few seconds and a muffled crash, James found himself heavily sprinkled with coconut as he stood at his door.

A note fluttered down and into his hand.

_Hello there Prongsie!_

_Glad you enjoyed your dinner!_

_Loads of coconutty love _

_Pads…_

James scrunched up the paper in his hand and bolted out of the door. He didn't need a plan to get back at Sirius. He would do it the old fashioned way.

He swung the portrait door open and zipped through, whooshing past a certain redhead who was strolling down towards the portrait from about half a metre away.

Lily opened her mouth to greet her fellow head she saw him emerge from the portrait, but she had hardly said the first sound when he disappeared, not noticing her at all. She sighed as she watched him sprint down the corridor. Had it been last year he would have stopped dead in his tracks and would have tried to flirt with her and ask her out.

He never did that anymore.

She sighed again as she climbed through the portrait hole. Yet had it been last year she would have shot him down in the most insulting way possible and then would stalk off.

She slopped down onto the couch, thinking back. She remembered how guilty she used to feel every time she saw the hurt on his face. She couldn't' understand why. He deserved it…didn't he? He would annoy her to no end. He'd act like a complete immature prat. He'd flirt with her and then flirt with another girl who'd pass by, then get back to her. And he'd expect her to find that attractive or amusing! It annoyed her even now by just thinking about it.

But she had to smile. Thinking back to that cheeky grin or the ruffling of hair that he would do just to impress her. Now she'd only see that grin when he was with his friends or flirting with another girl.

She felt like the stupidest person in the world. Just when he'd gotten over her she had to go and fall in love with him.

She chucked a piece of scrap paper that was lingering on the couch, into the fireplace with a hurl that matched her anger.

She watched it frizzle, curl and burn into ash, wishing that it was James Potter she had thrown in instead.

ooO0Ooo

"JAMES WILL YOU SODDING GET OFF ME?" Sirius screamed as James pinned him facedown onto the ground for the third time while he sat comfortably on his back, twisting his arm backwards.

James grinned.

"I've decided the best way to get you back is physically!" he announced, readjusting himself to a more comfortable position as he sat on Sirius, making Sirius grunt.

"Why so?" Sirius asked, blowing a strand of hair away from his face.

"Because you'll never fight back," James answered, grinning as he pulled out his wand, "you're too scared of messing up your hair."

Sirius nodded in agreement. James pressed his wand against the back of Sirius's head and grinned evilly.

"What shall I hex you with Sirius?" he questioned, "what shall I hex you with?"

Sirius squealed very un-Siriushly.

"What's gotten up your knickers Prongs?" he asked, trying to sound cool, failing due to the pitch of his voice, "coconut not impressive for dear Evans?"

"Oh shut up Pad…" he stopped after realising what Sirius had just said, "…Evans…LILY! SHIT!"

Immediately he leapt off Sirius and sprinted out of the Gryffindor Common Room. He'd gotten so wrapped up in the fact that Lily liked him and then Sirius and coconut he'd forgotten he had to actually wait and tell her that he still liked her.

Sirius watched with a raised eyebrow as James ripped off to his own Common Room.

"I never thought I'd hear Lily, and Shit in the same sentence," he mused, "he must be finally getting over her."

Remus and Peter snickered.

ooO0Ooo

James ran up to the Portrait Hole and gasped out the password. He took a small step inside and saw that the Common Room was no longer empty. His dear redheaded Lily Evans was sitting on the far end of the couch, staring into the flames deep in thought.

He couldn't help but smile at her beauty as the firelight danced on her skin.

As quietly as he could he shut the Portrait hole and walked into the Common Room, still undetected by his fellow Head.

"I wouldn't mind if we became two completely insane nutty people who only got together because they drove each other up the wall," he stated softly as he sat down next to her on the large couch.

She snapped her head to face him.

"W…what?" she stuttered; now looking terrified.

"Yeah," he carried on, grinning, "I mean at least we'd be together right? And seeing as we'd both be insane we wouldn't realise it and would probably think that we were insane and be as right as rain. Right?"

She opened her mouth to say something but closed it.

"Lily?" he pressed.

"I…I have no idea what you're talking about," she stated firmly, though her voice cracked, "have you been out drinking again?"

James raised his eyebrow. She was being authoritative and reprimanding in a form of defence. At least he knew how to deal with that.

_Probe until she cracks._

"Yes you do!" he insisted.

She shook her head, "you've lost it."

"No I haven't!" he protested, now enjoying as he watched her get more and more worked up by the minute, "you've lost it!"

Lily scoffed, though nervously and turned away from him.

"Just bugger off James! I'm not in the mood!" she retorted her eyes, "I for one have not lost it!"

"Yes you have!" he continued insisting, leaning in closer and closer, "you said so in the library."

Lily opened her mouth to retort but stopped and gulped, turning to him. He'd got her there.

"L…L…Lib…Library?" she stuttered.

James nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah," he said, now grinning from ear to ear, "you know that place that's filled with books and stuff? The place you always go to?"

He leaned in closer, causing her to jump slightly but not turn away. He could see right into her eyes. And he knew she was gazing into his.

"The place where you and Jess were this afternoon," he added slyly. He could feel her breath on his face quicken and knew she was finding it slightly harder to breathe properly.

"I…I wasn't at the library with Jess today," she protested meekly. James rolled his eyes and grinned.

"Yes you were," he argued, leaning back onto the couch, "I saw you, through a gap between two books."

Lily gulped, unable to protest due to her accelerating heart rate.

James grinned as he watched her and knew she was having a terribly fierce debate within herself on what to do.

"And like I said," he continued carelessly, "I wouldn't mind if we became two completely insane nutty people who only got together because they drove each other up the wall."

He grinned again.

Lily looked straight at him, feeling like a little child who'd just been discovered stealing the cookies. He was making fun of her! He was making fun of what she'd said! He was making fin of her feelings! She felt like crying. There was no way out now. She knew and he wasn't going to let it pass. He was going to milk it for all it's worth. He knew that she knew that he knew he was right. And he knew that she knew what he was talking about.

And even though she knew she deserved what he had in store for her, she thought James Potter was better than this. She grew angry.

James watched her, now curious. She wasn't responding. Suddenly she let out what seemed to be a strangled sob and a wrangled soft cry of fury.

James eyes widened in horror as he noticed her beautiful green eyes well up.

What was going on?

She was supposed to repeat everything she'd said in the library. Not start…whatever she was doing.

_Not good!_

"Lily…" he began carefully, but she cut him off.

"I cannot believe you James Potter!" she cried, standing up abruptly, "I cannot believe how low you're willing to sink!"

"What?"

"I know I deserve a bit of stick from you seeing as the way I've treated you over the years but to mock me like you have!" she growled and turned away, "It's despicable!"

He stood up and walked over to her.

"I get that you're over me but you didn't have to take the mick out me and pretend that you actually aren't!" she continued.

"Lily…" he tried.

"Just shut it Potter!" she hissed, "I was right! It's not worth telling you anyway!"

"What?"

"Besides I'm sure I'll get over this whole stupid crush anyway. SO just leave me alone!"

"You didn't call it a crush in the library!"

"Oh shut up Potter!" she snapped, "just stop it and go away."

James sighed and walked up to her and stood behind her, placing both hands on her shoulders.

"I'm not taking the mick Lily," he said softly into her ear, "I'm not."

He felt her shiver slightly and soften against him. But then she shook her head.

"No!" she stated firmly, "you are! And I'm not going to fall for it! Plus this whole thing is ridiculous. I'm not in love with you! That's incredulous! Me? Lily Evans in love with James Potter? No way! It's just a stupid faze of mine! This whole thing is a waste of time!"

She pulled away from him.

He could feel his temper rise. Why was she being so stupidly defiant? Why was she making everything so sodding difficult?

"Fine!" he snapped, "have it your way! But you know what Lily?"

She didn't answer.

"Jess was right!" he continued, "You are afraid. And the fact that you think I'm mocking you or that I'll reject you, which is obviously not happening, is like 0.0000005 of why you're scared. You're scared of admitting that maybe you were wrong about me. And maybe I was actually being truthful when I said that genuinely care and that I do have really deep feelings for you. You just don't want to admit that all those years of avoiding me were all a waste of time!"

He saw her sigh slightly.

"That's why you're making it so difficult!" he concluded, "So have it your way! Be difficult!"

And with that he stalked away, fuming.

He had barely taken two steps when something grabbed him from the back of his collar shirt. Before he had time to react, Lily had spun him around by the scruff of collar and had crushed her lips onto his with a hunger he never knew she had.

It barely took him a second before he had wrapped his arm around her waist and lunged her forwards against him, closing any gap between them, while his other arm rested on her side and then responded to her kiss with as much fervour as she had attacked him with.

For the first time he actually enjoyed when the girl had thrown herself at him, and didn't have to fake it. He felt as light as a feather but as heavy as the weights that were used in muggle gyms.

The passionate snog fests he'd had with other girls were only passionate if the girl was passionate enough for both of them.

Right now with Lily; he'd be surprised if a fire didn't start. She had latched her arms as tightly as she could around his neck while his were tightly around her torso, holding her right up against him, while his hands roamed her back. She was kissing him so feverishly and hungrily he barely managed to keep up as she pushed him backwards slightly so he stumbled and hit his leg on the edge of the couch.

He ran his tongue over her bottom lip and she immediately let him in, capturing his tongue with hers.

She was running her hands through the hair at the back of his head, tugging it gently, and driving him crazy.

He stepped backwards slightly and then promptly fell onto the couch, Lily sailing along on top of him. They landed with an exceptionally light thud, leaving no room to stop the snogging.

His hands were now tangled in her hair as one of her hands was sliding along her face.

Her lips were burning onto his as breathed against his face in short gasps whenever pulled apart for a split second to turn her face and capture the other side of his mouth.

She tasted so wonderful. Something sweet, almost too sweet but not really. Something was very familiar about that taste though. It was bordering to his dislike, but making him love it still.

He pulled away gently and looked into her eyes. They were dancing with a light he'd never seen before. She didn't look away as he continued to look, instead looked straight back at him.

"You were right," she whispered finally. He nodded and grinned before kissing her again. But he pulled away again. He had to know.

"Lily, what have you got on your lips?" he asked, desperate to know.

"Lip balm."

"What flavour?'

She raised her eyebrow and smiled.

"Coconut essence. Why?"

Coconut? The girl of his dreams wore coconut essence on her lips? He couldn't believe it.

Realization dawned on her face.

"Oh…James…well…"

He was supposed to be feeling disgusted, but instead he found himself loving the taste. It was perfect. Bordering to his disliking, but perfect. That was what Lily was about. She was perfect. Even though sometimes she drove him actually crazy with emotions that an English word could never cover. But still perfect. She was his life source, even though he'd almost lost his life due to her fiery temper.

She was perfect. Bordering complete insane destructive erroneous. But that was what she was and that was what he loved about her.

"I didn't know you could taste it…" she stammered, still gazing into his eyes, "…maybe I could…"

He grinned and stopped her.

"I love it!"

And with that he returned to kissing her feverishly. As Lily responded to him and made him feel all those sensual emotions again, James decided that, accompanied by Lily, coconut wasn't so bad.

ooO0Ooo

I know. Completely and utterly stupid. Dont even know why I bothered.

Could you take pity on me and give me your opinions?


End file.
